How to pray

Prayer is a conversation with God. I am not good at praying. I don’t want to ask God for things; that is selfish. I do not want to ask God to do something; I consider that presumptuous. Asking God to prevent someone from dying is asking that the person delay experiencing Paradise. I also don’t know what is best for the person or the universe. My prayers mostly thank God for what has happened and how my life is progressing. I also review when I have fallen short and ask for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness is hard because you can’t ask for forgiveness without sincerely wanting to change the behavior you bring to God. Mark Twain had one of his characters say: “You can’t pray a lie.” 

About 2,000 years ago, someone who was an expert did give us some direction on the subject. 

We are not to repeat without meaning. In Matthew 6, Jesus said: “And praying, do not use vain repetitions like the pagans, for they think they will be heard in their many words.” We should not pray in the open like hypocrites to be heard by others. We are to go to our room and pray in private. We can’t pray a lie in private. We can fool ourselves, but the truth becomes apparent when speaking it to God. 

Merely repeating someone else's prayer is not praying. It must be your words. The disciples asked Jesus how to pray. He told them how to do it. It was not giving them something to repeat. It is instructions. I have used the translation in Matthew with trespasses and not debts. Various translations use sins, trespasses, and debts. I think trespasses generally describe where I need forgiveness. It also explains what we are to forgive. It is not money but our perceived harm. We do owe a debt to God that we can never repay. This debt is what we have done and have not done. If we are genuinely repentant in our prayers, Jesus will cancel that debt. (I can never measure up to the Peter Singer standard.) The prayer examples below are short and only examples of a start at each category. 

What has been called the Lord’s prayer is to be our way of organizing our prayer. Taking it one part at a time: 

Jesus: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” 

We are to address God in a very respectful way. It is as a child addresses a loving parent. For example: 

Us: 

Holy Father, God, I need you to be in my life. Thank you for hearing my prayer. Here, we should acknowledge the magnificence of God and worship. 

Jesus: “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” 

This phrase is to ask God to intervene in the world. Asking for North Korea to be wiped out is not Christian. Jonah asking for the destruction of Nineveh was not what God wanted. God wants repentance, obedience, and rejection of sin. Many people in North Korea are only trying to survive. Be careful asking for specifics. Sometimes, we get what we ask. An example of asking: 

Us: 

Our world is a mess, and it needs your help. Please show me how I can help and be part of the solution. Please help the world leaders see how to do your will… 

Jesus: “Give us this day our daily bread,”

In Jesus’ day, asking for food for the day was reasonable. Not everyone obtained enough food to survive. It wasn’t asking for food for a year. In the present day, having enough to eat is seldom a problem. In this case, we need to thank God for his abundant blessings. Asking for material things for ourselves seems wrong. At this point, thanking God for the abundance we have seems appropriate: 

Us: 

Thank you for all of our blessings.

Jesus:

“And forgive us our trespasses, as we have forgiven those who trespassed against us.”

This passage asks God to forgive us for everything we have done wrong to God and what we did to others. We are asking God to apply the same standard we use to others. This is a high standard. It is hard to pray a lie, so asking to be forgiven as we forgive is harsh. It is for our good. The burden of not forgiving damages all our organs, including our brains. Hating someone does not send out hate waves that hurt the other person. Hate only hurts the hater. An example: 

Us: 

Please forgive me for not asking the person if they needed help and for being rude to the clerk at the store. Help me forgive Jerry and John. They were doing what they thought was best for them… 

Jesus: And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.’ 

This prayer portion asks God for help avoiding sin and overcoming sin. For example: 

Us: 

God, please help me avoid hard temptations and help me resist. Please give me the strength to overcome my internet, food, drug, alcohol, pornography, and gambling addiction. Help me treat others as you would. … 

When we ask God for help, we will get power.

Jesus: “For thine is the kingdom, The power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.”

This passage is to remind ourselves that we are not God. God is in control. His ways are not ours, and God will do what God does. For example: 

Us: Thank you for the wonder of your creation and for allowing me to be part of your kingdom… 

God answers prayer in his way. Some people feel God’s presence and hear the answers as they pray. Sometimes, it is only much later that we understand God’s answer. In later pages of her diary, Mother Teresa complained to God that he was no longer answering. In my circumstances, I only discover the answers later. Sometimes, the answer is no. Prayer is not simply about petition but is also worship. 

Praying requires practice. If we keep in contact with God, as Paul suggests, prayer will be simply an extension of our discussion with God. I recommend regular interaction with God and structured time to think about our actions and pray.